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New Year!
tangpau
This year has been a interesting one and this next year should prove to be even more eventful. I have several goals set for myself for 2011 and as long as I stay focused and remember the first paradox of philosophy than I should not have any problem with them.

Set up my trading account
- This is one of my major goals this year, but a few things need to be done before this can happen. First off I need to save up the money required to open one. I need atleast $500 to open the one I want with the company I want. This will pave the way to being a short-term trader. The other thing that needs to be done is the next goal on my list.

Get everything needed for my home office - I have been working on this one for the past few months and it is coming a long nicely. But I still need to get a few monitors (yes that's right 3) , a nice office chair, printer, and a small TV for the office. Perhaps also getting an iPhone this year to give me mobile access to the office

Need to finish photography portfolio - This one is kind of an ongoing process, but a few thing need attention as soon I possible. I need to re-buy my favorite lens that exploded a couple of years ago. I need to re-type and tweak my artist statement, need to find at least 2 females (or couples) to model for B&W nude photos (I think I have found one already), find 8-10 more locations/objects for meditative photography shoots, then need to shot all the photos, and get digital copies of all of them so I can set up a flickr account for my portfolio.

Write a completed screenplay - Of course I need to read a few screenplays, study screenplay writing books, re-type an entire script to master all the formatting, and learn then the new software I have (Final Draft 8), then I need to knock out a rough draft and have a completed screenplay finished this year. So this time next year I can begin shopping around for an agent and begin the script selling process, etc... But more on that next year.

These are the goals I have layed out before me for this coming year and by Nuit I shall get them all done. With the help of discipline, magick, and enthusiasm these things and more are possible. 

JUST DO IT !!!!


(no subject)
tangpau
When I was in my Junior year in High School I participated in a school program for underachievers who were not doing well in the traditional school programs. It was called "School Within a School". That year was the first year of the program and I know it lasted 7-8 years after that at least.  In the second half of that year we had someone come in that was a journalist named Debra Robinson, whom I still see every once in a while at Hastings, and she spent a few months teaching us how to really practice journal writing. She taught from the wonderful book by: Natalie Goldberg called "Writing Down the Bones" This book and her approach to teaching from it changed the way I looked at writing and my writing practice ever since.
Today I was roaming the shelf of writing books at Hastings and I came across a new book by Goldberg called "Old Friend from Far Away; The Practice of Writing Memoir" Lately I have been working on writing more non-fiction and this is maybe just what I need to read right now. I have been focusing on essay writing but perhaps this is the way to go right now. I have written short pieces of memoir before but never anything long and maybe it is time and also would be the best way to get across what i am trying to say right now.
We'll see I suppose. Maybe this is where I will write such memoirs. Just a thought.

Long Strange Couple of Weeks
tangpau
It has been a long strange couple of weeks since I posted here last time. I got a job, a "real" not-online job. I work at the big-ass movie theater by the mall and so far I really like it. It is easy and I have almost no responsibility there, which was a requirement I was kind of looking for. I just want a job I can work and then come home and not think or stress about.

Also since I have this job I have decided not to take on any other writing projects online now. I think this will be the best thing I can do right now as it will allow me to work on my own writing both fiction and non-fiction for a while. I have a lot of things I have been meaning to work on for a couple of years but have not had the energy to write more online after I am done with my writing work, all I can think about is not writing more and instead just watching TV and working on the occasional gaming project, but now my writing is in an upswing I have several things I really want to work on. 

I also got new pimp reading chair and need to clean and re-arrange my room yet again so I can have a place to lock myself in and work during the day before I have to be at work. I have been working some nights and some days but this week for example I work mainly nights so I will be able to wake up early, write all day and leave in time to get to work at 6 in the evening.

Not to mention getting the amount of reading done that I want to get done. Okay I am going to head to the store now and then I think I am going to head home to eat something and hopefully get some writing notes down on paper.

Walking Quotes for the Night
tangpau
Just wanted to share these with those that keep up with this thing--

"After a day's walk everything has twice its usual value." --George Macauley Trevelyan

"Oh, it is heavenly and good and in simplicity most ancient to walk on foot." --Robert Walser

"Only those thoughts that come by walking have any value." -Nietzsche

"I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night." --Sylvia Plath

"We should go forth on the shortest walk, perchance in the spirit of undying adventure, never to return."--Thoreau

"You cannot travel the path until you have become the path itself." --Buddha

"Once I dreamt of a form of poetry created by the sound of feet walking in the grass." --Cecilia Vicuna

"They walked all night, from near to far." --Dr. Seuss

"The soul of a journey is liberty, perfect liberty, to think, feel, do just as one pleases." --William Hazlitt

"Afoot and light-hearted I take to the open road, / Healthy, free, the world before me." --Walt Whitman

"The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key." --Edward Abbey


Enjoy and Keep walking!


Walker's High
tangpau
I have never run before or even jogged for any distance since Jr. High. But today when I was out doing my walking training I had that feeling I think. The feeling, like I got to the point when I was going to head home for the day, but wanted to do nothing more than walk more. So I just stayed on the trail and kept going! It was a great feeling. Spirits very high today because of walking and my recent spiritual explorations.

Speaking of today I walked 8.5 Miles!! Crazy I think I will stay at that distance for a few months.

More later--

Friar Kevin

Rules of the Road
tangpau
Today I officially began my walking training and learned a few lessons of the road today that I want to apply as soon as I can.

I walked 5.25 miles today and it was very interesting. I was tired at the end of it, but I think I could have walked more if I had stopped to rest for a half an hour or so. I am going to see by the end of the summer. My goal is to get up to 15 miles a day by the fall. So then this fall I would like to walk 15 miles a day for three days a week at least.

Okay so my lessons for the week are: 

1--First and foremost I need to get some good trail shoes. I need to go look around a few places here and see what they have to offer.

2-- Always know where you are going. Do map research ahead of time.

3-- I need to get a hat. Preferably a nice breathable straw hat. Saw one at Wal-Mart today I might get soon.

4-- I need to get the pack I am going to really travel with so I can get used to walking these distances with the pack I am going to be using. If I can not assemble all the gear soon, get weights of some sort to use to simulate the weight of the gear.

Those are my lessons for the day. Also I found the bible I will be traveling with today. A very nice light weight ESV New Testament.

So I am going to go back out and follow the "correct" hiking trail Thursday so I will let you all know how that goes.

--Friar Kevin

Short Rant This Time
tangpau
I know that last rant was kind of big for some people and I will try not to make them that big in the future. Tonight's rant will be small and right to the point. I have, as many people reading this know, been thinking a lot about Catholicism these days and how I can "become one" for lack of a better term.

But the more I study the bible in depth the more I think not just them but most organized Christians sects are just that, sects. If I am going to do this and not feel fake about it and stay true to my Will and my personal beliefs on spirituality and Faith then I am going to have to take the big step.

I am going to have to sooner or later start my own ministry. Now whether this is going to be an actually permanent ministry or some sort of traveling ministry I do not know. I am of course leaning towards the traveling ministry and I would like to learn that way and I believe that is wee my path is leading me know.

Well what I am saying here really is that I am not following any type of Christianity other than the one I perceive as my own. Right now the only thing I consider myself is a Student of the Bible. I am going, very slowly right now, through my minister training and hope to accomplish that in the next 4-5 months if I can.  Then I will really decide what the next step is going to be for me. But for now I am slowly preparing myself for change.

I am going to officially start my walking training in the next week too. Should be an interesting few months.

Agape and Pax,
Friar Kevin

Blue Socks or Green Socks?
tangpau
This is a elaboration of an email to Adam Kadmon this morning on several topics. I got on a roll I think and wanted to take this opportunity to explain to people reading this some of my current thoughts. Warning: This is a long rant.

We started out talking about the parallels between magick and Christianity. The first and most important thing I think we should discuss here is the idea of the inner and outer self. The idea is that in order to achieve results in your outer life you MUST first secure and develop your inner life. Yes the major parallel of course is the work of the inner body and the outer body following. It is surprising (maybe disappointing or sad) that more magickians and Christians do not believe this or if they do, they do not follow this very important lesson.

To quote Adam Kadmon"JC says change the inner and the outer will follow. Ophiel says changes made in the upper planes will trickle down to the lower material planes. Same thing. So many of these other New Age/New Thought teachers (e.g. Emmet Fox) says change your heart/mind and your life will change."

"Doing it the other way doesn't work."
I totally agree with Adam Kadmon here that doing any other way does not work at all. This is one of the problems I have with most churches and why I have not went out of my way to go to one yet. I have not found one that really believes in the Way, as I think it should be done. The only groups I do believe work this way are not in this area. Yes you can not serve two masters and I think the "masters" of the self are the hard ones to give up and stop serving. This also of course has a parallel teaching in all of magick too, it is the giving up of the Ego.

This is the true meaning of the rich man who couldn't get into heaven. You can't serve two masters. Fox points out it doesn't matter what the other "master" is -- excessive pride in a body of knowledge or law or the rules (the Pharisees), or just a lot of money, or ... having a lot of yourself invested in something else that you don't want to let go of, b/c then you wouldn't be special or better than anybody else.


I started reading Hard to Believe by: John MacArthur  last night and I have only made it 8 pages into it and it is really revolutionary in it's thinking. I have added yet another place on my travel agenda. I need to go to his church and see it with my own eyes. He is very much into solving the problems of the modern church. He calls the modern church "Christianity Light", he proposes and I agree is that the modern church is too much about giving into the people to make them feel more comfortable with your teachings and your church. Jesus did not say following him would be easy and in fact if you look at the guidelines he puts forth to following him it must not have been easy for anyone in
biblical times, and today it would ruin most people's egos and sense of comfort. He backs this all up of course with massive amounts of scripture, which if you are interested I can quote more.  Luke 9:23-26 to get an idea of what he is talking about.

It's the reason different churches clash w/ one another. They've each invested themselves in their own interpretations of How It Works, and they would rather die than give that up. The pastor at the church I've been going to would never give up his thing about baptizing in the name of Jesus vs. baptizing in the name of the Trinity, even though it's as trivial as wearing blue socks or green socks.

This is the reason I think that as you put it "different churches clash with one another." Because the truth is that none of them are actually following the path of Jesus. I think now days very few churches do so. They are all too busy arguing small points, Baptizing in the name of Jesus or the Trinity, what translation of the bible is the "correct" one, what it's congregation can or can't do, etc... as you say it's blue vs. green socks. Well put!

Emmett Fox talks about sin as anything  blocks true open-ness to the Holy Spirit, and I totally get that. It's the reason JC says you shouldn't "make oaths": you are committing yourself to some certain set of actions in the future, as in "I swear I'll do such and such," rather than allowing yourself to be open to the movement of the Holy Spirit.

I like Fox's idea of sin, it in line with what one sister told be years ago about the idea of Thelemic Confession. Her idea was that you confessed your "sins", which is ANYTHING that you let impeed your Will (or in this case God's Will) and also anything that the magickian does that is not part of the Great Work, or in Fox's terms "blocks the open-ness to the Holy Spirit". I still have not made any sort of confession and would like to soon and have been contemplating that way to do this.

I do agree now more than ever that Oaths of any kind are not the way to go. I started thinking about this more and more when I was traveling. I was talking to my roommate about this the other day actually. He was asking me what my plans were for the future. All I could say to him was that I planned on travelling some place (and I have about 3-4 ideas of places I want to travel to) and then I would go from there as the spirit moved me. I think giving up of most of one's possessions, just going and following where the Lord guides you is one of the purist forms of giving into that Will and achieving Knowledge and Conversation with The Holy Spirit.

This, of course, confuses 90% of the population if not more. When you travel (I am speaking here of course about actually travel and also spiritual development) most people assume you have a plan. A nice comfortable plan that in the end leads you back to somewhere safe that you are familiar with. You set out knowing this is going to be going on for a set amount of time, so you can prepare yourself on many levels; pack, so to speak the physical things you have to have, and then also get yourself ready mentally for travel for this set length. If something does not happen or if you do not find what you are looking for in that set amount of time you instead retreat back to a safe place and blame the lack of results on external forces outside yourself.

There is also the matter of what and how much to pack on any level. Last time I set out to travel around I took an army duffel bag worth of stuff and a small laptop bag full too. By the time I made it to the first place I was going I realized it was too much, so by the time I was at the second place I did not want to have that much stuff with me at all, but with no where to send it I was stuck traveling with it. That is okay though I am a being that learns it's lessons very well. I have been thinking a lot about what I am talking with me and I am going to travel in backpacker terms "ultra lightweight" which is under 25 pounds including the backpack and bedroll. I am also cutting back my mental and spiritual packs too. I am trying to only have what is essential. More on that soon! 

By making oaths (either to an organization, to yourself, or making concrete travel plans) you leave no options open to follow what the Holy Spirit has set out before you. You should not plan on going to a exotic city and have a whole travel site seeing tour set up, because if you do that you miss what might be there that you did not expect. If all we looked for was what we expected to see then nothing will inspire Awe and Wonder in us. We will not look in the rabbit hole, we will not even know the hole is there to look in to.

I think I have covered what MacArthur talks about in the first 8 pages of his book. I can tell this is going to be a dense one to read. Like the Claiborne book was also. I need to talk about that one some more too. I have his second book on Ministry on its way. Should get it in the next couple of days. 

I think my final thought right now on this subject and many others is a Claiborne quote I either read or heard in one of his sermons,

"We have to become the church we want to belong to." 


-- Friar Kevin













Bible Study and Ministry
tangpau
I have been looking for years for a thought system that addressed all the issues that I have with life, relationships of every kind, and also addressed my desire for vocation as clergy. I think as strange as it seem to me and also those around me. I have found it in my personal form of Christianity. A lot of my ideas are based on the works and sermons of Shane Claiborne. 

They have also come from the bible study group I started online. We have been active for almost two weeks now and we already have 108 messages posted as of today and 5 members. It has been the most eye opening experience of my life in a very long time and I wish other groups I have been a part of would have been this active and serious about their study. I think they would learn a lot from each other if they first learned how to get a long and love each other.

I also began my lay ministry course work today. It is a 6 month program that will lead to being a fully trained minister and then all I have to do is pay $25 to get my card and it is official. Now I know I could go through somewhere like ULC and get my Minister's license now, but that takes away from it I think. I would like to go through some official training so then I would be able to actually act as a minister to people instead of just having the ability to marry people.

Well just wanted to pop in and say hi to the people that read this. I am still working on a blog, the idea is ever evolving in my mind and I am feeling more and more that I am heading the right direction.

Agape to All,
Rev. Kevin Regier

Monks and Friars
tangpau
Last night I watched a three hour documentary on History Channel on The Real Robin Hood, which is totally amazing and makes me want to learn how to shoot an English longbow. But aside from that they are spending time talking about each Merry Man in his gang They discussed things such as  about if they really existed and what they did. Of course the one that fascinating me the most at this point in my life was Friar Tuck. So it talked about his beliefs some and the things that make a Friar different than a monk.

I had to do further research on the subject and it makes me want to follow this path instead of the path of a monk, for now at least. Friars are like wandering monks, which is what I see myself as anyhow. They traditionally work with the poor and because of this they take a vow of poverty so they can actually understand the poor by becoming one of them. Vows of poverty are of great interest to me because I think it is the one thing in our society that hurts us the most. The materialism and commercialism is so much a part of our thinking that I do not think it is possible for most people to understand what poverty really is.

This is the path I have been drawn too for a while anyhow. I just want to roam with a small backpack of things and travel from group to group, house to house. Just working and helping as I go. Just doing it to do it. Just living in humble service and as close to the NT and Sermon on the Mount as I can. Journal writing down my spiritual thoughts, working on my own Monastic rule based on my own views of the Chaos/Thelema/Christianity Cross current. I like that the main thing they must do is take a vow of poverty. I can do this and live out of a  backpack with almost nothing. Also this lifestyle works well with my current fasting thoughts.

That all really appeals to me. I traveled with nothing but a duffel bag last time and it was almost too much stuff. So  this time I am going with just a nice backpack and pack it up with everything I need and go from there. I am going to start looking at backpacks very soon. I did a lot of research on long distance pilgrimages and ultra light weight backpacking when I was considering doing the Camino. I would like to do the Camino more now than ever before because after all it is Christian pilgrimage. For those of you that do not know it is the 500+ mile pilgrimage across Southern France and the whole Northern coast of Spain. Following the path of St. James and ending in the Church where his bones rest.

So it is advised if you are going to do any long distance backpacking to keep it down to ultra light weight if you can live with that. Ultra light weight is only 22 pounds of gear including backpack weight, tent, sleeping gear, etc.. the more I reasearch about it the more it makes me fiend to do it. Light weight is 22-40 pounds. But I would like to keep the weight down if possible to stay more with in a vow of poverty thinking and also being able to very long distance walking.

I have been thinking of training walks I could do to get used to it. I am going to do some walking around town first to get used to it. I would like to get up to 15 miles a day walking if I can. I need to get a pedometer and the backpack I am going to be using  as soon as I can. That way I can truly gauge the distance I am training and also training with backpack and weight I will ultimately be working with.

Then for my first big walk I plan on walking to visit Brother Catfish who lives in Clarksville, which is, according to Google Maps, 78 miles. That would be a very good test. I like walking a lot and this will be a very good test.

I have also as an alternative thought about getting a bike and do all this on a bike instead of walking. An ultralight pack would not be too much to deal with on a nice mountain bike. I am still deciding and I am going to go next week sometime and look at some bikes and backpacks.

Well with all said my next book purchase is going to have to be a book by: Scott A. Beckenecker called "The New Friars".

Okay I think I have probably ranted enough about this now and I will rant more about it in a day or two.